billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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