I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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