We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we're making bets on your personal life
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
