Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
