I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
what day is it and did you see me today?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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