My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
