He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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