Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
