shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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