im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
