Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize