I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
