im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
