he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
