We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
