butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize