it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize