we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
