At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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