Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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