gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
