3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
