I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
