I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize