Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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