I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
