You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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