It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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