Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize