About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
4 words: hood of his car
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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