Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
