last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
