So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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