put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I did not marry a roomba.
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