i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
