From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
