How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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