So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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