I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
