im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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