He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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