I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
