Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
