Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
NoShamevember. You game?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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