I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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