Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
