I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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