Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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