glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I smell stomach acid.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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