all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
