nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
