i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
