you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
