I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
