didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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