So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
