hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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