I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
