I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
