And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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