First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
