Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
