She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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