remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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