After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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