Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
